My epic and upcoming challenge is life. For my whole life, I've always lived in the shelter of my mom and dad. And soon that's going to fade away. I'll be out in the big open world that for years I've wanted to be in, but now that I find myself on the verge of freedom, I don't think I want it. I've joked that they're going to have to drag me out of high school kicking and screaming. The good news is I'm not in this transition alone unlike Beowulf. There are around 50 other SCS seniors who are also finding themselves in the midst of this change as well. And more importantly, I'm going to have God guiding me. I hope that I'll grow stronger in my faith in the coming years. In a way I think God's the one fighting this battle. He's in control, I'm just the little Yorkie dog on the monopoly board following where he sends me. I'm still scared though.
I feel a bit like my beta fish, Triton. I kept little Triton in a goldfish bowl until I decided that he'd probably like it in a 10 gallon tank. So I got it all nice and ready for him to move in and put him in it. Poor little fish! He didn't know what to do with himself. I watched as he stayed in a corner for the first few hours. It wasn't until a while later that he discovered that his new tank was a lot bigger then his little bowl and then began happily exploring his bigger, better, home. For him to really enjoy his fishy life he needed to expand his world. Like Triton, I think it's the shock of going from my tiny bowl to my big tank that is scary. I know the world's big, but I've never really been out of my bowl. I know I'll like it once I'm in it (I'm usually like that about new things) but for the moment it's scary.
I think to ease this transition I just need to trust God. It sounds cliche I know, but it's something I struggle with. I say God has it all together, but acting on that claim is difficult. So like Beowulf, I can talk the talk, but I really need to hunker down, meet my Grendel head on, and act on it.
